Related poem: “Protrusions of the Ineffable Kind“

Higher Dimensional Protrusions of the Ineffable Kind

These colours and shapes are not from our world and cause intense effects on our psyche and hold of reality. As we absorb more and more of these glitches through our many senses, we fall deeper out of reason. You can’t help but stare, for the beauty of many potentials penetrates your soul and mind and render you useless. Useless. Absolutely useless, and as you fall deeper to its spell a pure darkness envelops you totally and without restraint. Darkness. Darkness, a deep black, empty darkness. So cold that you are unable to move your limbs, or your whole body in general for that matter. The only part of you that you have any control over at this point are your eyes.

Rivetting. Imagine darkness, in every which direction you turn, whether its left or right, up or down, forward or backwards. Never ending darkness where death doesn’t exist, but neither really does life nor living. A limbo of sorts – and the only thing you can do is attempt to look around you only to see the same black scenery at every turn of your eyes. “Am I even actually moving my eyes?” you think to yourself. “It feels like they’re moving but all I see is nothingness of the highest degree”.

We’ve reached a state called “Darkness of the E.N.D”, the annagram “E.N.D” standing for “Eternal; Never Dying”. You wonder if this place is forever. “Is this all I’ll ever experience from here on out?”. Fortunately not. Whilst being only temporary, still being forced to taste a little bit of oblivion and then being able to return to the living realm afterwards. This is sure to drive most at least a little bit mad. Because when you taste that slice of oblivion and true never ending abyss of darkness and suffering, you’ll have wished you were never born to experience it. This is surely a moment of realisation that ignorance is bliss and that if the opportunity to forget such an occurance could exist, it would be jumped upon within even half a heart beat. 

Initial Brushes with Destiny; The First Encounter

I’m going to bring it down to earth a bit, at least relatively compared to the story so far. My first encounter with “faceless mike”…

Let me tell you a story of a time when I myself was sent to this deep darkness, many years ago. It was a cold and windy day, sometime in October or November one year, and I was hanging out with some good friends of mine. We went around my mates house, out in the rural countryside next to the coast. We were late teens in age and we were on kind of a hot streak in partying and having fun whilst we still could as young adults.

Any good party needs some form of substance to bring up the party goers moods, y’know? Obviously this isn’t actually the case, but we were young and dumb so we did dumb stuff. Anyway, we got a hold of some substances that I shall not name and we, well, partied. Suddenly, the night started seeming different… compared to over adventures, something was lurking in the shadows. I could feel it. A deep feeling of something unexplainable directing their eyes and gazing upon me. Watching my every footstep and following each and every conversation I was having throughout the evening.

Was this just paranoia? Anxiety? Could it be? I felt like it probably was, and I had experienced similar feelings before as I am already prone anxiety and have had to deal with it my whole life. So I managed to reason myself out of any more peculiar happenings going on. So I let my guard down, tried to relax a little and enjoy the wave that the night was providing me to surf upon.

Unintended Consequences

That was my biggest mistake. For this wave I was surfing could only ever lead to a place akin to hell. Except for there being an absolute absence of flames and eternal damnation, just a cold, dark nothingness that instills fear and feels like it will never cease to be your current state of experience and mind. 

Sitting in a cold garage, in a circle with my friends, I was peaking on the substance I had taken a few hours earlier and thought it was a smart idea to take a different substance on top because you can never have too much fun when your mind is as far away from sober as humanly possible. Suddenly, my mind was in a state where my normal barriers and shields that protect me automatically switched off. It was then that I realised that the presence I had been noticing all night wasn’t just paranoia nor anxiety. It was very much real, or at least it had become realised, and whatever it was had forced its way into my world and presented itself before me. 

Seeming like a confrontation, it stared at me. Or at least I could feel it staring. However, it seemed to be facing away from me. Leaving me wondering how I could feel that it was looking at me deeper than anything had looked at me before. Such a deep stare into my soul and being even without actually physically gazing upon me. I knew this entity had to be powerful. Extremely so. Way more powerful than anything I had come into contact with before.

I moved towards it. Even though I was shitting bricks, my curiousity couldn’t be held at bay and as I put one foot infront of the other to walk towards it I started to realise something. It wasn’t getting any closer… or should I say it was I that wasn’t getting any closer to it. I could feel the sensation of movement in my limbs but when I looked down at my legs, they would not move. It’s as if my brain was trying to send the signals to my legs to move but my legs would not listen to the command.